Jade awakes and treats everyone to her flaky skin. “I’ve got the flakiest skin in Britain,” she declares. Oh, I see – that’s how she is ‘infulenchal’ then. “Skankanasi” she giggles with her lap dogs following suit. I’m so paranoid now by the hysteria I may or may not have started that I analyse everything the girls say. Is Skankanasi racist? In the kitchen with the civilised folk, Dirk is on top form. It is a pity that we haven’t been able to see much of the lovely Mr. Benedict – all that bitching has subdued him and all his wonderful comments get left out. Dirk discusses the earth and sun in orbit. “Don’t tell them,” he says to Ian, indicating the bedroom where the bitches lay in their own filth. “They’d find it too complicated.” Don’t worry Dirk, Jo, Jade and Danielle are only interested in what vegetarian’s poo smells like and how many times a normal person farts.
Boredom sets in. The housemates are advised to stay out of the garden due to high winds. (Insert Jackiey joke here). Meanwhile, on the outside Carphone Warehouse pull out of sponsorship and cite racism as a reason. Channel 4 issues a statement once again claiming there is no racism. There’s none so blind as them that won’t see. Dirk bursts a blister, which seems to horrify Cleo. Ian makes a glove puppet. I’m attacked by guilt because not only did I post Channel 4, Endemol and The Sun’s email address I also posted the Carphone Warehouse’s. Tis all my fault! (Nah! Not really. Honest!)
Dirk misses Leo. “If Leo were here, none of us would have to talk to each other.” He talks to Shilpa however…cue more flirting. “I’ll ask BB to give them a candlelit dinner.” Ian remarks.
There is something afoot and it stinks. The bullies seem to have been briefed and Jade spends many hours in the Diary Room – always emerging in tears…suddenly she wants to apologise to Shilpa – in that unique way of blaming Shilpa and never drawing breath. They make their very tepid peace and hug weakly. Things get tense and everyone worries. Cleo suddenly decides that Jade is the best thing since sliced bread and will not have a word said against her.
Jade spends yet another eight hours in the Diary Room and comes out, explaining to the group that she heard a “familiar voice” in there and things are “bad” for her in the outside world. Sorry, but I am struggling to find any sympathy with her – you reap what you sow. The other housemates don’t get it; half delighted they are off the hook and half outraged. Cleo wants to protest. Cleo wants to wake Shilpa up and march her to the diary room to declare – again – there was no racism. To her credit, Shilpa goes back to sleep.
I have a nasty feeling that there will be a backlash against Shilpa…the whole show is a farce. Cleo, so adept at fence sitting, has come down firmly on the side of the bullies without acknowledging the very real hatred they have spewed for a young woman whose’ only crime is to want to cook and to not want to talk about farts.
The day ends with the biggest display of hubris I have ever witnessed. Jade talks constantly about what a success she is and Cleo – never able to comfort Shilpa in quite the same way – lodges herself firmly up Jade’s backside. When you peak Jade, there is nowhere else to go but down. Jack’s little brain is thinking, “How can I get out of this, and fast?”
Boredom sets in. The housemates are advised to stay out of the garden due to high winds. (Insert Jackiey joke here). Meanwhile, on the outside Carphone Warehouse pull out of sponsorship and cite racism as a reason. Channel 4 issues a statement once again claiming there is no racism. There’s none so blind as them that won’t see. Dirk bursts a blister, which seems to horrify Cleo. Ian makes a glove puppet. I’m attacked by guilt because not only did I post Channel 4, Endemol and The Sun’s email address I also posted the Carphone Warehouse’s. Tis all my fault! (Nah! Not really. Honest!)
Dirk misses Leo. “If Leo were here, none of us would have to talk to each other.” He talks to Shilpa however…cue more flirting. “I’ll ask BB to give them a candlelit dinner.” Ian remarks.
There is something afoot and it stinks. The bullies seem to have been briefed and Jade spends many hours in the Diary Room – always emerging in tears…suddenly she wants to apologise to Shilpa – in that unique way of blaming Shilpa and never drawing breath. They make their very tepid peace and hug weakly. Things get tense and everyone worries. Cleo suddenly decides that Jade is the best thing since sliced bread and will not have a word said against her.
Jade spends yet another eight hours in the Diary Room and comes out, explaining to the group that she heard a “familiar voice” in there and things are “bad” for her in the outside world. Sorry, but I am struggling to find any sympathy with her – you reap what you sow. The other housemates don’t get it; half delighted they are off the hook and half outraged. Cleo wants to protest. Cleo wants to wake Shilpa up and march her to the diary room to declare – again – there was no racism. To her credit, Shilpa goes back to sleep.
I have a nasty feeling that there will be a backlash against Shilpa…the whole show is a farce. Cleo, so adept at fence sitting, has come down firmly on the side of the bullies without acknowledging the very real hatred they have spewed for a young woman whose’ only crime is to want to cook and to not want to talk about farts.
The day ends with the biggest display of hubris I have ever witnessed. Jade talks constantly about what a success she is and Cleo – never able to comfort Shilpa in quite the same way – lodges herself firmly up Jade’s backside. When you peak Jade, there is nowhere else to go but down. Jack’s little brain is thinking, “How can I get out of this, and fast?”
Feel a bit sick? Want the fun BB back? Chillywinter@hotmail.co.uk
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