CBB5: Day 13: 15th Jan 2007

The morning after the night before. Cleo wanders around in her Land of the Fairies, refusing to believe anything bad happened, and states that “a bridge was made.” Shilpa and Jade however, do not agree. “I cried a lot.” Shilpa tells Jermaine. “I wasn’t nasty.” Jade tells Danielle. Jermaine and Ian are perplexed and annoyed. “Bullying.” Ian says. “The girls are bullying Shilpa. She can’t do anything right.” Jade doesn’t care anyway; she made Shilpa cry and is proud as she relays her tale of victimisation to Jo and Danielle. “I get articulate when I argue.” She says proudly. No you don’t Jade; you get nasty and tend to resemble an obese warthog on the verge of a psychotic episode.

Dirk decides to cook lunch and, miraculously, there is no bitching about his food. Everyone is full of compliments, including Shilpa who decides to give Dirk a hug before telling him her makes her go “weak at the knees.” Altogether now…aaahhh. Big Brother reaches a new level of ineptitude and set a task involving a “red carpet” event and “dressing up”. Oh dear lord, when will it ever end?

Everyone gets to dress in ill fitting dinner jackets and evening gowns. Dirk looks remarkably handsome. Jermaine looks like a doorman in some salubrious underground drinking establishment. Just when my worry that some dreadful new Lauren Harries style housemate is about to be introduced, Big Brother decides the celebs need to tackle a “VIP Assault Course” in their gear.

The housemates fail their task. The evening consists of sniping over food, whining and Jo having “an asthma attack” (she recovers from the attack by smoking 40 more fags and blames Shilpa! Naturally.) I get too annoyed to continue my blog and write an email to Endemol in disgust instead:

Dear Endemol

I never thought it could much worse but you have surpassed your own very low standards set with the re-introduction of Nikki last year.

So, you are faced with a mass of OfCom and Channel 4 complaints, angry callers, Dave Gorman’s genuine comments on BBLB and internet forums in uproar because Shilpa is being systematically bullied, belittled, isolated and victimised by your employee Jade Goody (yes, we all know her agent is the same as Russell’s, Davina’s and Dermot’s) and her gang. Yet, you drag in some clearly inexperienced ‘psychologist’ on to that excuse for a show “Big Brain” to tell us all Shilpa is to blame for her own bullying.

Excuse me? Do you watch your own live feed? What a wonderful message…get picked on, left out, humiliated and destroyed but it’s your own fault kids. I might try that at work tomorrow – I’ll call my admin a girl a “f***** b****” and then tell her, when she becomes upset, it is her own fault because she actually comes into work each day and anyway, it must be her fault a ‘psychologist’ said so.

I know you have some serious Jade Goody damage limitation to do. We’ve seen the snarling harridan in action and her hench muppets, Jo and Danielle. You can issue all the pointless statements you like about how Big Brother would never allow bullying; it’s just “girlish envy”. Yes, in your sweet little Goody land where every thing is Jade, I’m sure it was all just harmless girl fun!

Shilpa is a “dog” “wants to be white” and is a “f*****g idiot?” Her accent is mocked, her culture is mocked. Jack calls her a c*** and a w****r. Jo says that Indians are thin because they make themselves sick from undercooked chicken and she “doesn’t know where their fingers have been” and yet you still insist there is nothing racist happening? So, have some courage then and show the word Jack said that you were forced to bleep. Don’t try and tell me it was the C-Word – you’ve shown that before now. The very fact you refuse to show what he said, that you refer to relentless bullying as “girlish envy” and that you get that drip Dermot O’Leary (Jade’s colleague) to then pin the blame on Shilpa really has me wondering what you are trying to hide.

Dave Gorman, John McCririck and others have tried to raise the race issue only to be shouted down. What are you so afraid of? Oh, yes – the truth.

I expect your Endemol co-workers will populate the eviction crowds too so that Jade (who literally pays their wages) can get a cheer whilst the nation still reviles her - note: we reviled her after BB3 too and we know the ‘psychologist’ told her to change tack then. Being in Heat magazine constantly with your belly out does not mean the public like you! I imagine the Endemol employees on overtime on Friday night are also instructed to boo Shilpa…because she dares to be the victim of bullying. (Sorry – that’s her fault, isn’t it?)

I never held your company up as a bastion of good morals and human decency, how could I? You resurrected Noel Edmonds for goodness sake? But please, this has to be an all time low even for you. I suppose if Danielle took to goose-stepping and swastika painting that too would not be racist, just a bit of ‘harmless girly fun’

You blew it, if truth be told. If you had never brought in the Goody rabble this show would have been dynamite and you would not have had these accusations levelled at you.

I expect your usual standard response…so I shall send this to you as many times as is possible, and to Channel 4 and maybe even the press. Shame on you.

Wish you’d never watched Big Brother? Enjoy mindless bullying? Chillywinter@hotmail.co.uk