Big Brother 8: Day 35 - 3rd July 2007

In the early hours, Jonathan leaves the Big Brother house because his grandmother has died. Sam and Nicky are upset. Charley is angry she has been upstaged and kicks off. Again. You could almost set your watch by her. It matters not her Sin task is not to argue…she digs at Chanelle and Brian about being adopted, sending Chanelle out of the room and prompting Charley to launch into a poisonous diatribe and vitriolic impression session – with Laura, the giant monkey, laughing with the demonic organ grinder.

Brian is so incensed he has to march around the garden to calm himself. Ziggy does his relationship no favours by staying up all night with Charley to counsel her alongside Liam. Charley then decides to spill the beans to Liam about Nicky’s feelings, not a good idea now that Nicky has decided to back off. By 6am everyone goes to bed. Laura sports an unevenly spread orange tan face and a fake limp – hoping she won’t have to do her “six miles” for her Sin task.

Liam worries what lust will entail. He can’t worry too long because Carole runs around rationing the bread and telling everyone they cannot have toast. Liam was right to worry; he is made to dress up as a member of the village people again. His lust task is to look a tw*t basically.

As the bread argument goes on, Charley is accused of stirring which she vehemently denies. As if Charley would stir! I mean! Honestly! She poisons Ziggy further against Chanelle and to his shame he begins to question himself. Nicky is sent to the Room of Nicky, surrounded by pictures of herself. She must wear green and a jacket of herself…and learn some “self containment” but she looks uncomfortable

Outside Charley goes off again – this time calling Gerry boring (okay, she is right this once) as a camp Liam tries to break into the caravan and an annoyed Amanda is dragged from the shower by Carole who thinks she has been “too long” washing. Ziggy goes back up in my estimation when he goes to Chanelle and tells her what Laura and Charley have said…suddenly Laura is lost for words. “I never said it!” She cries.

Charley then argues with Laura, Laura argues with Chanelle, Chanelle argues with Ziggy. Argh! Shut up. Everyone! Shut up! Gerry, complete with a green face pack, tries to bring some calm – but as usual, no one listens. Chanelle is angry, “You can go sleep with ‘er!” She screams, pointing at Charley. Nicky claims she doesn’t want to get involved, whilst getting involved.

A bizarre scene follows here Laura rants to Liam, dressed as a scary gay biker, Gerry, a green alien, and Amanda, a giant hotdog. Liam deflates Laura, not willing to listen to her wittering. Charley isn’t finished in her campaign to split Ziggy and Chanelle and when Ziggy goes to the diary room she moves in on Chanelle, telling her not to trust her man.

Laura’s task is to walk a mini marathon whilst wearing piggy slippers. She somehow passes and the group wait to see if they all passed. In the meantime Chanelle and Laura discover they are to face the public vote which only makes Charley squeal with delight…let’s see how she squeals when her lackey Laura is booted out to boos.

When the task results are announced everyone but Charley has passed. The group are not happy; especially when Charley finds it amusing she has spoiled the party plans. All hell breaks loose again. First she shouts at Ziggy with Laura giggling on. Amusingly Ziggy tells Laura “find your own personality.” Liam is annoyed that Charley has spoiled the mood and another row kicks off.

Its tedium personified for a while until Big Brother intervenes and Charley is sent to the Sin Bin whilst everyone else gets a party – a PVC party. This leads to some of the most disturbing things I have ever seen – namely Brian as a giant condom and Tracey pushing her hands between his legs! And the twins rubbing each other in chocolate. And Nicky rubbing Ziggy. And worse – Ziggy rubbing Carole.

Yet – gross though it was, it was like heaven compared to another Charley “I’m just being honest” whine.

Like PVC? Want to slap Charley? Chillywinter@hotmail.co.uk