The morning after the failed sleep task Ziggy, Jonathan and Carole gather for their daily old granny bitch session. Apparently it is all Nicky’s fault that they failed. Oh, of course…a task where you have to stay awake for 60 hours is clearly failed by the only person who managed to, and was willing to stay awake! Ziggy is a prize prat. He’s been beaten by Amanda at swimming and Nicky at sleeping – women keep beating him and he can’t stand it. Although Charely is wearing him down into a shadow of his former self and Carole – Ziggy, step away from Carole – she is a Dementor, she is sucking out your soul.
As punishment Big Brother takes back all the food in the house, but a mini revolt ensues when Laura tells everyone to eat and eat it all and fast. The first casualty of food war is Brian - "I bib my tongue..." he cries whilst chomping on chocolate. Laura is determined not to hand back the food "we worked hard on the task, its not our fault others couldn’t physically do it" she says. Yes. Seriously. The same Laura who would have eaten her own kidney rather than stay awake for more than an hour.
Liam returns some of the food to the storeroom – realising further punishment will follow if he doesn’t. He’s a canny lad that Liam, I think he will do well. Jonathan is distressed thinking that the public will see it as them whinging about things they are contracted to do – well I do!
Carole sits on the bed with boxes of meat pies by her side – looking like Les Dawson in drag, pushing up her bosom and staring wistfully at her trophies, Jonathan at her side - her Roy Barraclough. But Liam presses on, clearly he has won his second 100k today, as he clears the fridge.
The food is finally returned and everyone – even (shock) Sam, has the hump.
Someone dares to touch Carole’s towel again – and hell fire it was Nicky. Carole is off on one like a demented Hagrid but with an even bushier beard. “It’s not private poperty” Ziggy chimes in, finally exhausted by Carole's incessant whining. “She didn’t do it on purpose” Liam says. Bad move boys – two men defending Nicky to woman hater Carole? She will blow into a million pieces shortly, mark my words.
The housemates have to weigh and measure tehmselves. Chanelle is 5 foot 5 and a “shocking” 8 stone 3 (up from 7 stone 10 ) and not impressed. She suspects BB wants to weigh them to give them low calorie meals after failing the task. She is right. Brian is a huge 6 foot 6. Laura is 5 foot 3 and 12 stone 2 and reckons she has lost some (how? Did she slice a leg off when no one was looking?) Liam is 6 foot 2 and has lost a stone is now 15 stone 12! Nicky is only 4 foot 11 and 8 stone. Charley is 7 stone 11 and 5 foot 6 – dangerously underweight.
When the nomination results are announced later in the evening all hell breaks loose because Billi and Charley’s votes don’t count, freeing Nicky and Charely from the public vote.
Chanelle is so shocked that Charley is not up she cannot help but make an innocent-ish comment so Charley kicks off and Ziggy gets all over protective…making Charley blow up even more…everyone gets flamed…Carole, Billi, the twins, Jonathan and Gerry. Nicky is devastated that she was nearly up. “I thought they were my friends” she whimpers. No Nicky – trust no one! This is Big Brother, no one likes you.
Billi drips more poison. “She’ll be hated” he screams of Charely. “Who else could have nominated me, I can only think of two.” Shut up slimeball, try eight! Eugh. Miserable Carole miserys on but I switch off when she shows up, much like I do when Gerry talks.
After being force to eat nutritional slop for failing the task, the twins are not allowed a party so create their own pink party with no tunes, booze or fun (lets be honest – it’s more like “humouring” the kids than fun) Charley and Nicky stay away – Charley getting ready, and shunned for being a bitch, and Nicky poisoned by the slop and depressed. Laura lays down with them – exhausted at the non musical chairs game she just lost. Tracey joins them after banging her bottom on the chair.
In the bathroom a sexually frustrated Gerry asks the lads if they fancy a 'homosexual orgy'. They all decline. “I'll be gentle” Gerry says. “I don't think you could possibly be gentle enough.” Liam nods.
Wish Charley could stay forever? Like a bowl of slop first thing? Chillywinter@hotmail.co.uk
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