Seány has spent the night putting Gerry and Chanelle’s toys into condoms. Chanelle sees the funny side but Gerry is angry and throws Seány’s hats in the pool. It’s only a bear Gerry man. Carole awakes the next day to take her rightful place as head of the kitchen – “it’s washing day” she announces once again taking it upon herself to look after everyone. Stop playing the martyr Carole and maybe you won’t keep getting nominated. Ziggy is depressed, he wanders around with a long face, avoiding Tracey’s questions and telling Billi he’ll be “watching him” if he goes. Billi grins…he hasn’t had to do much to wind up old Zig.
“Nicky’s in love” Carole snipes. I think Nicky is really just in lust. Liam doesn’t return her affections however; his eyes cannot help but appraise Chanelle whenever she is near. Jonathan and Gerry investigate the eye logo, coming desperately close to the ‘secret room’ (Please not another House Next Door!) Jonathan admits that although he was deeply cynical of the twins he has now been “won over”. Carole still thinks they are false. “They’ve been coached,” she barks before viewing herself in the mirror. "My pouch is saturated" she says. Good. God. I don’t want to know.
A twin thinks they should sit and discuss the shopping list before ordering it. Blimey that is sensible. If only I knew which one it was so I could heap my praise on the correct person.
Brian is annoyed by Laura who declares she will stay in bed all day (Never!). “You are a diva,” he tells her. “You don’t know what a diva is!” Laura squeals. "Yes I do, you sit there in your Bet Lynch housecoat.”
As the individual winner in the swimming task, Amanda has to order the shopping list alone as her reward, only when she returns to the house armed only with hairspray, candyfloss and strawberry laces I think it will be more of a punishment – especially when Nicky and Carole realise that Jays fluid and Mr Muscle have been replaced by un-chewable gobstoppers and chocolate mice. Amanda returns, “I got loadsa cake and choccie lahk” Carole is annoyed; Amanda forgot washing powder but remembered Nicky’s hot sauce and Charley’s fags. Tracey goes berserk. “No tobacco man! No tobacco!” Please! Go and ‘deal wiv it’ Tracey and smoke a fagage.
“Seány, you are hard work.” Gerry declares in between rambling on about architecture and the chaos theory and how ‘fantastic’ his own penis is. “My poor bear” he complains. Gerry, you are a 31-year-old man with several degrees and an apparently great knowledge, get over the bear already.
By the evening all of the housemates are called to the sofas and shown £100,000 sitting in the Diary Room. Laura squeals, “It’s the prize fund, it will count down!” She’s wrong. Carole, Jonathan and Seány are called in to the Diary Room. Carole is tearful and fractious because Jonathan used her precious towel and he DIDN’T ASK PERMISSION. The three cannot receive the prize, but they can choose which remaining housemate does get the money. A poisoned chalice?
They get just one minute. They dissuade Seány from giving the money to Laura and Jonathan from giving it to Amanda or Sam and give the money to Liam but he looks less than pleased; in fact he bursts into tears. Brian reassures him. “Don’t worry about crying mate, I’ve mugged myself off.” Charley immediately readjusts her sights and hovers around telling Liam he is “so worft it.”
Carole looks distraught. Seány cannot believe he is up for eviction. (Really?) Jonathan cries, “I don’t need the money anyway, I’d throw it to the crowd!” Shut up, fool. Nicky tentatively sits with Liam but now her burgeoning romance has been stopped. Everyone will think she wants the money. Brian and twins are delighted as usual. You could probably burst into the house and tell the three of them their parents and spontaneously combusted and they’d find the joy somewhere, somehow.
Charley ups her flirting with Liam so Nicky is forced to reveal her hidden weapons – her chest and Amanda’s make up routine. Chanelle has another strop when Gerry touches her sandwich (not a euphemism). Carole takes it upon herself to now dislike Chanelle as well (Carole’s ‘dislike list’ sure is big) and she lies to Laura that she was “in with a chance” of the money. Carole, you vetoed Laura.
Laura tries to convince Ziggy there is something evil about Jonathan but he isn’t so sure. “He’s alright” he tells her. No, Ziggy – for once, Laura is correct. Jonathan continues his hate tirade against Charley but she’s had enough and retaliates, causing another Diary Room trip for the pair and Jonathan stalks the garden alone and forlorn in the early hours. Oh dear, Jonathan has been rumbled.
Think Liam deserved his cash? Wish that Charley was rewarded instead? Chillywinter@hotmail.co.uk
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